I have never mounted a horse/ I have never learned German/ I have never eaten a snake/ I have never read the Koran/ I have never made love to a man/ I have never tried heroin/ I have never seen an angel/ I have never fasted/ I have never been to a wake/I have never saved a drowning Hungarian/ I have never laid down on the tracks and waited for the train to come/ I have never been– knock on wood three times – seriously ill/I have never published an article in National Geographic/ I have never adopted a child/ I have never worn a medal of honor/ I am not circumcised/ I am not bald/ I do not have any tattoos/ I am not a heretic/I am not a follower/I have never written a poem in which I really pitied myself/ Oh brother,what a loser!
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